Ellisa H., KS
I wanted to update you on my progress. Hopefully I can be brief, but there is so much gratitude I could ramble on for days.
I came to the Watershed the first time in 2003. I was addicted to prescription drugs and as selfish and self centered as a human can possibly be. I relapsed in no time. I then went on methadone maintenance, outpatient treatment, inpatient treatment, another outpatient treatment on Suboxone maintenance, and I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired. My life was unmanageable. I could not get my kids to school; I could not get out of bed. I knew I needed help. I promised myself I would go to treatment, but I was going to use one last time. I quit my bartending job, it was a Friday night, and started to go to a different bar. My brand new tire on my car was flat. I didn’t let that stop me. I got a ride to the bar. At the bar, I was already beginning to feel dope sick, and went to the ATM to withdraw some money. I could not for the life of me remember my pin number. I couldn’t even buy a drink as they only took cash. I knew that God was doing for me then, what I could not do for myself. And that was save my life that night. If I had access to my money, (I was so skinny and malnourished from the daily cocaine abuse, daily alcohol consumption, and all day long daily Lortab and Xanax abuse) that I have no doubt I would have died that night if I used one more time as I was determined to do. I went to detox the following day, and then flew to Watershed where my new life began.
With the help of the entire staff, and after conceding to my inner most self that I was an addict and would never survive that old life, I put aside anything I thought I knew about recovery. I listened and listened some more. I knew my reliance on a pill to wake up, a pill to function and a pill to go to sleep, was not the way I wanted to live. So after a few weeks, I was down to an anti depressant and that was IT. And I learned that I didn’t need those things. I was so relieved. I put aside my manipulative ways, and when I didn’t get my way, I knew it was for my good. I didn’t participate in any childish behaviors that would hinder my treatment, as I had in the past. I prayed, I went to every group, and I read the literature and did my assignments. I wanted it. Bad.
After my extended stay there, as some of us are sicker than others, I knew I was ready to return home. I had no fear. I was ready. The Watershed equipped me with everything I needed to move forward. For that, I am eternally grateful. And will never be able to repay them for giving me a life.
When I got home, I began attending a group I attended before, RIP (recovery in progress). Soon I was working with a sponsor and before I knew it, leading a meeting. I immediately became involved in service work. I wanted to carry the message everywhere. Even to non-addicts, as the book says, our way of living could be useful to all. I have now been sober for 17 months, am the GSR for RIP, and take a meeting into a local treatment facility. I sing in a church choir, and that does so much for my relationship with my higher power. Who, although I didn’t deserve it, and thought I didn’t need Him, had another plan for me that He put into action that night he flattened my tire and wiped out my memory of my pin number. God is always right on time. I am so grateful for that. I try to live my life in such a way that would be pleasing to God these days. I take my kids to school, I go to work, I go to meetings, I help others. I comprehend the word “serenity” and I know peace.
And I thank you, the Watershed, for giving me my life.
Ellisa H., KS