“Growth can be painful. Change can be painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” – Unknown.
Growing Pains: Grow or Go
Most people don’t like to grow in recovery. It can produce anxiety, fear, and change, but it’s essential to long-term happiness. At least that’s been my experience. Here are three things I’ve learned from growing and changing in my recovery.
Secrets don’t make friends
Growing sucks. It’s true. If I ignore that feeling I get where I know something needs to change, I am miserable, discontent, and living in fear. The more I keep it to myself, the more that miserable pain and fear controls me. See, I like to fix things before anyone finds out that I am going through something. Then after I am fixed, I like to share it with others on how I overcame this obstacle. You see anything wrong with this picture? It’s me trying to fix me. That almost never works. So, what do I do then? Well, I have to reach out to supports, get with my Higher Power, and do the work necessary in order to allow this new growth to occur. This can be very uncomfortable, especially if you have been around recovery for a few 24 hours.
Do the work
Now that the cats out of the bag and I have expressed that I am in some pain, there is work to be done. I usually have received some sort of direction from a spiritual advisor on how I can grow through this and obtain another level of happiness that I have yet to discover in my recovery. This can be very cool, but also very tedious and kind of scary. That is probably why I avoided it for so long. Who wants to work on themselves and have to look at things that are blocking them off from happiness? Not me to be honest, but that is why I have supports, because they help me push through those pesky thoughts and do the work that needs to be done. It works pretty much the same way as having a gym buddy, coach, or personal trainer. They help motivate you when you don’t feel like doing it, but you know if you do do it, you are going to feel great.
Let go of expectations of yourself and others, stop comparing your insides with others outsides, and allow yourself to be exactly where you are and who you are for this moment. Alcoholics are entirely too hard on themselves and others for that matter. It is OK to be human and it is OK to not be OK all the time. That not OK feeling is a reminder that we need a program of recovery, we need our Higher Power, and that we need to change some things up in our life. This is all good stuff. If I never felt any amount of pain to change, I would probably just stay exactly where I am the rest of my life in the same old boring routine. I am a creature of habit and I like feeling safe and comfortable, but it’s also not really living, so I need a little push towards new goals, dreams, and a way of thinking. Instead of looking at change and growth like it’s a bad thing, why not look at it as an opportunity to really live this amazing life sober, happy, joyous, and really free!
Just for today, embrace growth and change, and trust the process.
Written By: Watershed AshlingTags: keep calm, motivation monday, Watershed Ashling