“If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero
When I was drinking it was easier to lie and walk away from people than to be honest and tell the truth. I lost a lot of dear people in my life because of this. And I am not talking about the lies we tell as it pertains to our drinking, I am talking about the lies that we tell people as it pertains to our thinking. If I had a thought about a relationship with a friend or boyfriend it was sometimes easier to just walk away instead of sharing how I really felt. I was a runner and if I don’t watch my footwork in recovery, I can still have a tendency of running.
I always ran from people,
Places, and things. If I screwed up too bad in one location, off I went to live somewhere else where nobody knew me. I did this a few times and wherever I would go, there I was. I would run from relationships because I was just too scared to commit to anyone or at least share my feelings and even fears.
If I was ready to commit, it was still easier to run from even meeting anyone because I was just so comfortable with being single. It’s funny, because life is always changing and yet I hate change. Although change can be exciting, it can also be very scary, especially for someone like me who is very comfortable with her routine and lifestyle. In the same breath, if I am not honest with my thinking and how I feel, I will continue to run. I know this to be true, because that has been my experience.
In my recovery today
I take bold steps by being honest, even If I can’t control the end results. I would rather be truthful with those I love than pretend to be something I am not, or simply walk away. To me, it’s easier to be honest with others, than close my eyes, cross my fingers, and hope it goes away. I feel that I would have missed out on a lot of really beautiful relationships that I have obtained today if I never shared with them how I felt. Or even shared with them what I needed from them. In the same respect, it gave my loved ones the opportunity to share with me what they needed from me.
This only helped strengthen our bond with one another. I am grateful today that I have the opportunity to be honest with others and I am grateful that I don’t have to walk away when it gets uncomfortable. It feels good to be able to embrace honesty and truth and each day presents a new opportunity to do just that.
Just for today, I will face my fears and be honest with those I love.
Written By: Watershed Ashling
Tags: honesty, keep calm, motivation monday, motivational monday, Watershed Ashling