How often have some of us judged others to make ourselves feel better? Or better yet, judged other peoples programs to feel better about our own “spiritual” journey? What we don’t know is that while we are busy judging others, we are forgetting to work on ourselves and in return speak more about our character rather than the other person. Sometimes we judge so much and so often, we don’t even realize we are doing it until it causes enough pain to change.
Not All Judgments Are Bad
Judging is also not always bad. Sometimes we need to judge a situation or person within that situation in order to protect ourselves from harm. For example, you wouldn’t very well get into a car with a person you didn’t know or felt uncomfortable around, would you? In these kinds of situations, we judge, and that’s part of our instinctual survival skills which protect us from injury. The kind of judging I am speaking about is very different. It’s the kind of judging that allows our egos to run the show and the kind of judging that causes harm to others, as well as ourselves.
How Can Me Judging Cause Harm?
Judging others causes harm to us because we are no longer looking at how we can grow, but rather justifying our behavior against what others are doing. If it is not as bad as them, then it must be OK to engage in. “They don’t help enough people; they don’t work a good program,” verses looking at yourself and asking if you have any balance in your life. Eventually that kind of judging will cause harm to the other person if we start to vocalize our opinions or beliefs to them or others in the rooms. This kind of judging turns into gossip, and ultimately turns into resentment. After all is said and done, we can see that this serves no purpose to ourselves, others, or the recovery community as a whole.
No Judging Zone
The great news about working a spiritual program is that we can change our path at any given moment. There are a number of things we can do to either prevent this kind of chaos or mend what chaos we may have caused. Prayer and meditation first and foremost, then move onto speaking with your sponsor (or spiritual advisor), you can then make amends where your judging may have caused harm. If you were the one that was harmed by judging, you can use this as an opportunity to grow. Learning to let go of resentment, understand that the person judging may not be well, and understand that those who judge you say more about themselves then they do you.
Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone, but causing others and yourself harm by judging serves no purpose when trying to grow spiritually in your program of recovery. Just for today, bring the focus back on you and let go of expectations and judgments on others.
Written By: Watershed AshlingTags: keep calm, motivational monday meditation, Watershed Ashling