“I have a darkness about me.” – Anonymous
“What’s so dark about you?” – Ashling
“My thoughts.” – Anonymous
“Explain.” – Ashling
“I’m vengeful towards people, and I lust for things that I don’t have. I see all this ‘something’ in a world that I haven’t become a part of. I still don’t know what I am to life, although, I do value what little life I have lived. I feel like I am patting my head and rubbing my hand in circular motion on my abdomen while hoping on one foot. My road of life is under a lot of construction.” – Anonymous
This was a text I got from a dear friend the other night and it started to really make me think. Who hasn’t felt like this at some point in their life? I think it’s a part of the human experience and it doesn’t make any of us less than or even “dark.” Who hasn’t had lust in their heart or rage in their soul? I started to ponder my own path throughout my life and I replied with this.
Life Is Always Under Construction
I found that a lot of those feelings just naturally change the older we get and the more we grow. My perception on life and the role I play changes. What was the once guiding force behind my chaotic actions and thoughts has become subdued or even non-existent. The vengeful person is released by understanding, love, and acceptance. The lustful thoughts are replaced with contentment, gratitude, and appreciation. That feeling of being out of touch and my participation in life and how I show up, or don’t, has changed greatly by what actions I put into the construction of my life. This so called “road of life,” everyone is on. We are all just going at different speeds and stopping at different rest stops along the way, but we are all traveling towards some sort of destination. But as we continue moving on, we find something out, it’s not about the destination – it never was – it’s always been about the journey.
Your life, his life, my life, their life is always under construction. That’s just part of life. Some people seem to have it all together, but they too face their own battles. We do not control any of this and we are all looking for the same thing – happiness. We just call it by another name: money, sex, drugs, alcohol, toys, vanity, food, gambling, etc. No matter what the name, it always boils down to happiness and what makes us happy. The hard part is recognizing that what we once thought made us happy, doesn’t actually fulfill that happiness we truly desire. That kind of happiness has always been a choice, our choice, and we had it in us the whole time. You can choose to be happy and live your life to the fullest, and you can do it today.
I don’t know what the future holds for you, my friend, or even me, but I do know that it’s none of my business. We are in the business of action and the results are best left up to something greater than ourselves to handle. I have faith today that things turn out the way they are supposed to when I stop questioning and managing and start living and experiencing. I don’t have all the answers on how to construct life fully, but I do know one thing, when I live by principles and try my hardest to grow towards being a better person each day, I am happy. When I contribute the best I can to this planet, I am happy. When I think less of myself and more of others, I am happy. When I follow my dreams and live a balanced life, I am happy. My happiness is contingent upon my relationship and interaction with myself, others, this planet, and the universe. I have it in me to be happy and let go of anything that is holding me back from that state of being, I just have to be willing.
Written By: Watershed AshlingTags: keep calm, meditation, motivational monday meditation, Watershed Ashling